Friday, October 19, 2007
And Your Bird Can Sing
This bird rocks. I KNOW some of you must have a bird like this . . . if not, you CRAVE one.
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Tastes like chicken!
And speaking of chicken....what's this I hear about no 'Cartman in the River' this year?
I love that tune!
And speaking of chicken....what's this I hear about no 'Cartman in the River' this year?
I love that tune!
Y'all have bad tastes that I can tell.
In music AND food . . . may y'all wet yerselves and fall from 88 Steps.
Be careful out there . . .
*G*
In music AND food . . . may y'all wet yerselves and fall from 88 Steps.
Be careful out there . . .
*G*
# posted by 
: 5:38 AM, October 21, 2007
: 5:38 AM, October 21, 2007
Hey, we gotta have laws, don't we?
(a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is - how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14).
(a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is - how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14).
Geez, this guy's weekend thing has changed hasn't it?
Is the stoning on Sunday morning, still? After bacon and sausages and biscuits and gravy?
Is the stoning on Sunday morning, still? After bacon and sausages and biscuits and gravy?
# posted by : 2:15 AM, October 23, 2007
: 2:15 AM, October 23, 2007
Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay lord.
Now, let's get to the stoning!
Don't wanna be late!
They'll (wait for it) all be stoned before we get there!
Now, let's get to the stoning!
Don't wanna be late!
They'll (wait for it) all be stoned before we get there!
# posted by : 6:35 PM, October 23, 2007
: 6:35 PM, October 23, 2007
Wake, Bake, Shake, and Rake the Snake with a Cake I Faked.
So...what's with the bylaws from a thousand years ago?
Been reading the Koran again peadmart?
Shelfish? An abomination? I had shrimp and crab stuffed lobster tail in a nice white wine sauce last night...Should I therefor kill myself?
Or should I just get stoned with Zeke? Yer gonna miss a good time there Larry del Rio.....but as Lev said....
Why can't I own Canadians?
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So...what's with the bylaws from a thousand years ago?
Been reading the Koran again peadmart?
Shelfish? An abomination? I had shrimp and crab stuffed lobster tail in a nice white wine sauce last night...Should I therefor kill myself?
Or should I just get stoned with Zeke? Yer gonna miss a good time there Larry del Rio.....but as Lev said....
Why can't I own Canadians?
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