Friday, September 19, 2008

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day!!!

Blahr blahr blahr...
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.
Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand ...

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!


...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

Thursday, September 18, 2008


It's the end of the world as we know it...

And I feel fine.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

John Mayall's Bluesbreakers V (Apr. 1965 - Aug. 1965) Guess Their Names

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Strawberry for the Starship?

But remember, if you don't know Jorma, you don't know Jack.

Good Thing There Was No Oil Spills During Ike

Monday, September 15, 2008

A Fine Riposte

The post begins whining...

"Ads have invaded iTunes 8 and I hate it. Suddenly, on the right side of iTunes, the Genius Sidebar now displays at least 23 one-click buy links for me to spend my hard-earned cash through. What Apple calls a friendly recommendation is more like impulsive music buying. " and then goes on for a couple more paragraphs of near-wit.

Here come da comments, (somebody que Sammy Davis, Jr in his English Barrister suit)

"...One button. Click one button and that sidebar is closed. Stop polluting my feed reader with whining please.

Steve Jabs (Who am I?)

Stop polluting the site with you whining comments then.

Samir Talwar (Who am I?)

If telling someone that they’re whining qualifies as whining, where does it end? It’s just one small step from here to a flag pole through the very top nostril of a mountain of skulls..."

Sunday, September 14, 2008


Can You Run. Steel Drivers. Cuz they are SO darn fine and were Fall Berry. 

*sniff* *wipeseyes*

Carry on.

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