Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A Joke from Aunt Rose...
A Cowboy Named Mark
A cowboy named Mark was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust..
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy , "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Mark looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dellnotebook computer, connects it to his I phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his I phone that the image has been processed and the
data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his I phone and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Mark.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the
young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Mark says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Mark.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of
dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter you are than I am; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ....
Now give me back my dog.”
A cowboy named Mark was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust..
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy , "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Mark looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dellnotebook computer, connects it to his I phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his I phone that the image has been processed and the
data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his I phone and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Mark.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the
young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Mark says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Mark.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of
dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter you are than I am; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ....
Now give me back my dog.”
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Only thing missing is that the rancher lost his mortgage and is now homeless, no one can find the papers for the property due to the resale of the toxic debt piled onto it, and Big Oil and ConAgra have claimed eminent domain and taken it all over as part of TARP and the recent Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac bailout.
Despite that fact that FMae and FredMac have only used $177 Billion of their original Bailout of $400 Billion, and STILL no homeowners who were foreclosed and are now homeless have seen a dime of relief.
I thought the snag at the end about the dog was priceless, though, Rosie Gal . . . nice pic!
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Despite that fact that FMae and FredMac have only used $177 Billion of their original Bailout of $400 Billion, and STILL no homeowners who were foreclosed and are now homeless have seen a dime of relief.
I thought the snag at the end about the dog was priceless, though, Rosie Gal . . . nice pic!
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